who was jesus?

i sent this question out via text to several people i know. here are the responses i have recieved so far. names have been excluded for privacy. i have also edited for clarity on some of the answers.

"said to be the son of god"
"a friend of mine on myspace"
"some black guy"
"a person"
"a guy"
"a tent evangelist with no tent who did magic tricks"
"servant to mohammed"
"bored alien looking for fame"
"a jew that lived a long time ago"
"the mexican that sold me crack"
"my illigitimate child, because i am god"
"the man who can't high five because if when he does, he whistles"

feel free to add anything...