she said it was the one thing she did for herself
and i muttered something about easier ways to commit suicide.
“look, that man has a birth defect…
he has a butt growing out of his hand!”
thin gray swirls contort otherwise
pleasant faces that refuse to drop the issue
breaking into cacophonous coughing,
a not too subtle suggestion to extinguish.
“you’re gonna die.”
so are you.
up till now i have been a safe blogger; using a condom when i post so that i dare not offend or shock or repulse. well, play time's over kids. school is in session and while recess will always play a significant role, i'm going to bareback it once in a while. thanks to blandella, thanks to pam, and thanks to molly who read, research and get people thinking and talking; you inspire me.
first up, i have been back in idaho three weeks and am beginning to re-adjust to the culture or lack thereof as i continue to maintain that the cultural scene here is like kirsten dunst's acting skills, practically non-existent. i have returned with a nose ring, a smoking habit, and a healthy repulsion of ignorance and intolerance. for once, i was on the receiving end of bigotry, hated because i am american. no other reason, just that. there was no getting to know me before the loathing took effect, just hearing the dialect was enough to brand me as a stupid american for life. and head's up folks, the holier than thou attitude a lot of us wear with smug satisfaction is not appreciated elsewhere in the world and you may think that everyone loves an american but you are in serious wrong answer land if you do.
but that's a tangent for another post. swearing is the direction i want to go in now and i want to keep on trucking that way until i wrap my car around a tree. what is the big fucking deal? yeah, i said it. fucking. and i'll say it again. fucking. i have more, just let me get warmed up. bitch, cunt, ass, shit, damn, and all the variations one can make from each individual word. and that's what they are, words.
here's some quotes i've collected from friends and associates:
"when i was a kid, i didn't mind if my dad swore, but i couldn't handle hearing my mother swear."
"no one should swear in front of women and children."
"swearing means you are seriously lacking in vocabulary."
in a new york times article "almost before we spoke, we swore" by natalie angier:
Researchers point out that cursing is often an amalgam of raw, spontaneous feeling and targeted, gimlet-eyed cunning. When one person curses at another, they say, the curser rarely spews obscenities and insults at random, but rather will assess the object of his wrath, and adjust the content of the "uncontrollable" outburst accordingly.
Because cursing calls on the thinking and feeling pathways of the brain in roughly equal measure and with handily assessable fervor, scientists say that by studying the neural circuitry behind it they are gaining new insights into how the different domains of the brain communicate - and all for the sake of a well-venomed retort.
Evidence also suggests that cursing can be an effective means of venting aggression and thereby forestalling physical violence.
"Time and again, people have told me that cursing is a coping mechanism for them, a way of reducing stress," he [dr. jay] said in a telephone interview. "It's a form of anger management that is often underappreciated."
the entire article offers some much needed insight into cursing and personally i'd much rather have someone go off on me verbally, calling me every name in the expletive book than have them sneak away quietly and return with a very large gun. stop being offended by words and be offended by something that means something like poverty. and i'm talking about the hidden poverty that lives down the street living measly paycheck to measly paycheck with no health insurance. be offended by that and do something to eradicate that. attempting to sanitize a constantly evolving entity like a language is futile and a waste of time; find a more productive cause already.this is my own take on blandella's hommage to skype. and no "simon says" jokes under penalty of a texas chili bowl. (refer to southpark for definition)
simon says: shut your trap
syndie says: that was kinda cheesy
simon says: don't get catty with me
syndie says: i furbid you to talk to me like that
simon says: oh- you're in a vole lotta trouble misses
simon says: shrew you
syndie says: well you are acting the tame way i am!
simon says: i give up- i may as well go to the gym and start vermin up
syndie says: fleas tell me you have something better than that!
simon says: i don't- I must be getting a bit tom-and-jerry-atric
syndie says: you mouse be needing some incontinance pants then...
simon says: i'll just burrow yours
syndie says: hmmm.. i'll have to paws at the store to pick some up, because im fresh out
simon says: remember to keep the receit and i'll pay the gerbill
syndie says: nah dont furry about it... consider it a purrsonal favor
simon says: ah thanks- can you get them to me soon though as i'm in a bit of a scurry
syndie says: sure if im not scampered in any way
syndie says: beclaws that happens sometimes
simon says: when you deliver, you're welcome to join me for some vodka, gin or whisker
simon says: we can then get drunk and tell tails
syndie says: and since my birthday is on sunday you can wish me a hoppy one!
simon says: rodent that be nice
syndie says: purrfect darjeling
simon says: i'll put some drinks on ice then or in the chinchilla compartment
syndie says: manx a lot! i like my drinks cold.
syndie says: i like hard liquor too, do you have any absinian?
simon says: no- that's illegal here. You can only buy it in Hamsterdam
syndie says: aww.. rats too bad...
syndie says: oh well maybe we can listen to the spice squirrels instead
blandella seems to think the holy ipod has a monopoly on divining powers, however, i would like to offer winamp answers to the same questions he asked of his shuffling ipod and then the internet public can decide where the true power lies. in order to fully understand what this is all about, please first read ricky's post here and then check out rui's here.
1. how does the world see you?
macy gray - relating to a psychopath
so the mighty winamp knew about a certain nickname i picked up five years ago and began to affix to everything i worked on creatively.. sycosyndie..
2. will i have a happy life?
josh rouse - quiet town
i came back to idaho falls.. what's more quiet than that? it is what i wanted and since i believe we make our own happiness, then winamp wipes the floor with ipod.
3. what do my friends really think of me?
tori amos - girl
"maybe one day she'll be her own..." looks like my friends are rooting for me, hoping i am able to bypass the "white coats" tori speaks about at then end of the song.
4. do people secretly lust after me?
ryan adams - hotel chelsea nights
someone pining for someone else? yeah.. i'm going to go ahead and say the answer is yes, but it's winamp who's calling it.
5. how can i make myself happy?
fat joe fest terror squad - lean back
i am going to be happy as a limbo queen? as long as it's not on rollerskates, then i'm cool with that.
6. what should i do with my life?
the new pornographers - these are the fables
english major.. writing.. makes sense. too bad winamp is about a year behind because of the recent switch of focus i've made. the first demerit for winamp although i think ipod did the same thing with rick...so no big loss there.
7. will i ever have children?
nancy sinatra - bang bang
well i do have a six year old.. and while i call her my baby, i sure as hell hope she doesn't shoot me down!
8. what is some good advice for me?
scandal - goodbye to you
i know what this one means; don't really want to comment on it, but thank you to the gloriousness that is the winamp, i knew that was the answer. oh ipod, you've drooled all over yourself again.
9. how will i be remembered?
lil kim feat. fifty cent - magic stick
oh dear... being remembered for a magic stick.. bad winamp! bad!
10. what is my signature dancing song?
annie - little girls
uh.. loose interpretation possible #1: everywhere i look are little girls.. little lipgloss covered barbies trying to hog my light while i drop it like it's hot.
11. what do i consider my current theme song?
nine days - story of a girl
i would have liked the spiderman theme music but since this is what the mystical winamp has dealt... i am a girl and this is my story. lame.
12. what do others consider my current theme song?
collin raye - one girl one boy
oh hell no! not in this girl's immediate, and most likely long-term, future.
13. what song will play at my funeral?
my chemical romance - cemetery drive
this one, as well as all the others, honestly came up randomly for this question!
14. what type of lover do i like?
air - caramel prisoner
i gotta leave this one alone because of who've i've invited to read this blog, but safe to say, points to winamp again.
15. what is my day going to be like?
lit - miserable
now how could winamp possibly know that today would suck? without going into detail and based on an erased thought, it has been one of those days, inevitable for sure, but still sucks.
okay, now it's up to the audience to cast their votes. may the best musical magic 8 ball win (amp).
image by syndie a.
image by syndie a.
