bum scratcher

so kellyn and i went to albertsons tonight to procure a few items for dinner. we had barely stepped inside when i felt a tap on my left shoulder. i turned to face a tiny wizened old lady who motioned me down so she could whisper some profound advice into my ear.

she said, pointing to kellyn, "you need to sit her down sometime and tell her not to scratch her bottom when she's outside."

all i could do was laugh to which she replied by standing as straight as she could and, in a defensive tone, insisting that i teach kellyn this important lesson.

i nodded, still chuckling and maneuvered kellyn away to tell her what grandma had to say.

i told her she could scratch her ass whenever she felt the need and then i farted, wondering what the raisin would have to say to that.